Changed da house,
Changed da look.
BTW, my bathrobe's usually pink
and we don't have a fireplace.
Other than that,
it's pretty accurate...
Psst...click the words above to navigate.
Best viewed, unfortunately, in Internet Explorer.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
~ Ear-plugs and other thoughts ~
I saw the cover of a Far Side birthday card the other day, and somehow it tickled me so much that I stood there, doubled over in laughter while my highly-amused mother looked on.
'Twas simple, really. The picture was of a wife holding a stereo playing a loud recording of her husband's snore ("SNAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!"), while her husband shouted, "Okay! Okay! I get it! I get it!"
Cracked me up.
I walked into Soul Pattinson (a chemist) just the other day, and was absently staring at a rack of ear-plugs before I realised what I was looking at.
Then I imagined sleeping and waking up next to another human being for the rest of my life. Someone most probably prone to snoring as the days get harder and the body gets older and wearier, and the pillow flatter and flatter...
I'd probably have to invest in one of these, I think to myself as I stare at the assortment of ear wax and plugs. And then I realise that if I do, I'll never hear the alarm clock either and will probably be late for work everyday.
What a quandary.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
~ Hiatus ~
The counselling's been put on hold till next week... it's quite a struggle here to know what to do, seeing how we want to be honest with everyone and yet keep our privacy.
Although yes, it IS kinda ironic that I am therefore keeping a blog about this, but I figure this doesn't count because no one's reading this blog. Yet.
I haven't figured out when I can put this blog out in public. Maybe I'll just reserve this space for a few special pairs of eyes. Maybe this will never see the light of day.
What's more important to Tony and I at this juncture is that my mother gets acquainted with him, my life, and environment here, and gets warmed to the idea of me spending more time than we envisioned in Canberra.
So far so good, but we're both still bumbling along...
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
~ First Session ~
There's a first time for everything.
Two days ago, Tony and I were having lunch at Stephen's when the topic of marriage counselling miraculously came up during a conversation with Sarah and Kent, who are pretty young newlyweds.
Sarah was sharing how Graham and Penny - another couple in church who administer marriage counselling - had talked about how important it is to understand each other's family history, because that explains individual expectations about even the smallest things - like who takes out the garbage, husband or wife?
I asked Tony if his dad or mum traditionally takes out the garbage in his family. Turns out that as soon as he was old enough to do so, he had to, poor thing! He asked about my family habit with the trash likewise. I reminded him that we flat-dwellers have this gorgeous hole in the wall called a rubbish chute.
Stephen continued on that strain last evening, quoting Genesis 2 about how both entities leave their respective households and cleave to each other to form something new. The trick therefore lies in understanding both families of origin, and coming to an amicable standard for the marriage.
Sounds like a simple enough concept, but I think we both have to do some soul-searching and reflect on family values, traditions and habits in the upcoming sessions. Should be interesting.
Good news is that he's not freaking out yet, although he makes no promises.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
~ How this all started ~
I think we always knew we were going to marry each other. We were mindful on a very pragmatic level that things could go awry; that we may grow to discover that we were too different to ever reconcile our backgrounds, that God never really intended for this union to take place.
As the months zipped by however, it became less a question of if, and more a question of when.
Things really came to a head however in late March, just the Sunday before Tony was to leave for his Pan-America Baseball Adventure. That was when we realised that time was running out; I graduate this December, God-willing, and then I have to get out of the country. Or something.
And that's when he asked if I'd agree to go for marriage counselling.
We decided to approach Stephen Randall, because he not only counsels regularly, Tony's extremely comfortable with him. Stephen is such a sparkly-eyed, brimming-with-enthusiasm kinda guy that I really don't mind him either. Besides, he's seen the both of us together more than either ministers of congregations in Singapore or Brisbane, so this was only sensible.
We also decided that this was a good platform because it would raise issues that we wouldn't be able to recognise on our own, and it was a pretty surefire way of discovering if we're enamoured with the idea of marrying each other, or if the entire concept freaks either of us out.
Stephen was thrilled to do the honours, and gave us his premature blessings, which was curiously awkward for us because we're really not engaged. We're just practical.
Then Tony left for America on April 2nd, I went about my life as normally as possible, and neither of us mentioned the counselling in any of our phonecalls or emails for the next 9 weeks. I think the tacit agreement both of us had was that the time apart also served as testing ground for our feelings for each other.
True enough, the distance did crystallise some things between the both of us and we are approaching Stephen today to ask if Tuesday evenings are good for him to come over for dinner and counselling after.
I decided to start this blog because a good part of me doesn't know what the heck is going on and I need to muddle through somehow. I'm blissed out but apprehensive; part of me feels I'd die if we go through the counselling and he freaks out midway and decides he can't go through life with me. We're still not engaged at this juncture; it feels a little bit like we're putting the cart before the horse, and our practical approach is rather unromantic and lacks frills and lace... but we're also determined to do this right.
