Changed da house,
Changed da look.
BTW, my bathrobe's usually pink
and we don't have a fireplace.
Other than that,
it's pretty accurate...
Psst...click the words above to navigate.
Best viewed, unfortunately, in Internet Explorer.
Wednesday, July 28, 2004
~ Counselling Session Three ~
I never knew the book of Ephesians had so many verses that could pertain directly to proper communication as God intended for Marriages.
Incidentally, I can't find yesterday's notes now, but we had a good look at Ephesians 4:25-32, which goes as follows:
"Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity... "Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. "Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." I don't know about you, but when I read these verses, I usually think of "corrupt communication" or "unwholesome words" as words that are either vulgar or suggest some form of perversity. It was interesting for me therefore to explore that further, and see that it could mean basically words that tear down and do not edify. Silence is also seen as a weapon in communication, a dirty fighting technique, if you will. Seeing how Tony and I are both quite quick on the draw (bantering with him is always fun), I can see how things could get ugly real quick if we allow them to. I'm really thankful that he's usually pretty good at keeping a tight rein on his tongue. His self-control and deftness in thinking quicker than he speaks probably do more to deflect danger in our relationship than I've come to realise.
Friday, July 23, 2004
~ A glitch in the matrix ~
Ever since The Matrix explained deja vus as a glitch in the matrix, I've always described them as such, at least to myself.
Today was supposed to be the Second Session of our pre-marital counselling, and if it was anything, it was a rehash of the previous one. The only difference was the distribution of a questionnaire that we were to fill out at our own time, and leave for our private discussion sometime during the week before Tuesday next.
How does one tell the counselleor - whom you actually like and respect as a person - that you've already heard pretty much what he's said today (including the anecdotes) in the last session, that you feel slightly pressed for time given the circumstances (not long more before Australian Government assigns me title of Tourist aka Alien) and that you'd really like to get to the thick of things and start hashing out stuff with the potential groom in question?
Easier said than done, really. Especially if you don't want to come off as a know-it-all or hurt people's feelings. Besides, I seemed to be the only person who actually minded the repeat. Should I be pugnacious and blame it on my kiasu country of origin, and attribute my frustration to my "feeling cheated" of a session somehow?
Or should I just be a brat and blame instead this darn Canberra-wide event I'm helping organise this weekend, that's sucked me dry today and left me grouchy...
Saturday, July 17, 2004
~ DIY Marriage Counselling ~
Seeing how our marriage counsellor is away on a holiday with his wife sans mobile and email, and seeing how the 2 books he had passed to the middleman for our perusal and meditation have mysteriously gone astray, Tony and I were left to our own devices.
We thus started on an alternative... the shared reading of a marriage preparation book that started with a chapter entitled "Congratulations!" and went on to ask about the nature of the relationship, and what expectations we have for the marriage ahead of us. All in all, that alone took us 3 solid hours of just eyeballing each other and spilling our guts.
And that wasn't even a 10th of the book.
So yah, we figure we've got a lot to wade through. But you know what? It was a pretty fun process. And if anything, it was an exercise in articulating long-kept expectations and dreams of the kind of marriage we've each always hoped to have.
For starters, we've agreed that pre-nupts, while they might have saved a lot of heinies out there, are not going to figure anywhere in what we're about to embrace.
Sunday, July 04, 2004
~ To straddle 2 continents and Fiji ~
So I'm calling DIMIA (the Australian Immigration Department) tomorrow to set up an appointment for us to go talk to someone about our situation and solicit advice for the best way to go about this.
We have collated about 20 questions regarding student visas, work visas, fiancee visas, marriage visas, parent visas, and other means of sponsorship. I'm sure there is more to find out, except we're at a loss as to what the questions might be.
Meanwhile...
At the risk of being totally unromantic (and we probably are veering towards that course at this juncture), we have to research procedures for getting married in Singapore, bearing in mind that he's a foreigner. Today, we were even toying with the idea of getting civilly married in Canberra first, and then doing the dress-up in Singapore later.
That doesn't sit very well with either of us, though.
For the curious, here's a list of websites that give some clues into getting married in Australia, getting married in Singapore, and getting married to a foreigner in Singapore:
This is hard work! Admittedly, other silly questions invariably pop into my head on occasion, which are either unnecessary or kinda frivolous. I'm trying to be adult here, but what do you do with concerns like these:
By the way, regarding honeymoon destination: Fiji was raised...
