Snatches-of-Bliss-and-Are-You-Freaking-Out-Yet?

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* Welcome *

Changed da house,
Changed da look.

BTW, my bathrobe's usually pink
and we don't have a fireplace.
Other than that,
it's pretty accurate...

Psst...click the words above to navigate.
Best viewed, unfortunately, in Internet Explorer.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

~ Death and the Dearly Departing ~

It's been a while since I've picked up a copy of the Straits Times, for obvious reasons. It's been even longer since I've flipped through the obituaries.

I chanced upon one of last week's copies this morning and noticed that the section's had a face lift. It now looks a lot spiffier and it endeavours, I think, to celebrate the individual a little better. Apparently you can now choose wallpaper as backdrop to the sombre announcement ("Delightful Daisies" for the ladies, "Marvelous Marbling" for the men). That actually does make a good difference without making the obituary look like an advert.

This particular copy had an obituary of a lady, aged 58. She left behind 4 children and 8 grandchildren. EIGHT grandchildren. At 58. I calculate that the deceased had started having her children as young as my mother did but even then, her children would have had to all marry pretty early to start having that many children before she turned 60. It makes me wonder what the unspoken credo of the family is as far as child-rearing is concerned. Did the children look at their mother and think, "I should be like her. I should marry young, have my children young, so I can enjoy them to my fullest"? Because hey, when I was 16, I had planned to marry by 24 and have my first child at 26. I had figured it wasn't as young as my mother had been at 20 and 21.5 respectively, and I would still be young enough to be a grandmother by the time I was 50-55.

But then I turned 23, looked at my life then, and hastily moved the numbers around. Getting married and planning a family is frightfully exciting and daunting work.

But back to the obituaries. 58 is still young. I wonder if she was prepared to leave when she did.

When Tony was still in Singapore, we braved the first day of the IT show. We had 2 goals: a 512mb memory card and an internal DVD burner. It was important to us especially that the latter item came with an international warranty, because both of us were kinda nervy about spending money, lugging stuff back to Canberra and discovering OF COURSE that they wouldn't work.

We got a couple of brochures, brought them home. Tony started his research on the web the very next morning. And much to my growing chagrin, his conclusion after a time was that the price difference of IT goods in Australia and Singapore was almost negligible as far as DVD burners were concerned. It was probably more prudent for us to buy one in Australia than in Singapore, given that we would also get a warranty in Australia.

For the next half hour, I found myself almost banging stuff around as I shrivelled into major sulks. Gosh, I was petulant. At one point, Tony eyeballed me and asked me in all earnestness if he had done anything wrong and the very rational part of my wee brain managed to kick in in time for me to concede that he hadn't. And yet I was deeply upset. It was only until I started giving words to the growing emotional turmoil alone in the bedroom with my mother, that everything seemingly unreasonable and childish was articulated.

I wanted Singapore to be The Destination for great IT bargains, not Australia, Land of Crazy Taxes and Protectionistic Policies That Hurt Consumers. I wanted Tony to see that Singapore was the only place where you could enjoy great shopping, get the best buys, have the greatest variety of goodies stacked in your favour. (Hong Kong, in this regard, does NOT exist in my argument.) I wanted Tony to know and admit that I belong to a GREAT city, a GREAT country and that I was giving up all these luxuries for him. I wanted him to know how much I was going to miss living in Singapore with all its vitality and variety and I'll be damned if Australia can offer me better shopping because NOTHING beats MY country, ok?

I couldn't begin to articulate how much it hurts to know I'm leaving Singapore permanently, that I am and will continue to be nothing more than a Regular Visitor. As it is, the land has changed so much since I was last here. For the past 2 weeks, I have had to face constant reminders that people and things in Singapore have moved on without me. New buildings have been erected. New MRT lines and with it, new complicated networks of subways, flyovers and underpasses have been built and are in use. Nicoll Highway has come down and gone up. Hawker food I've loved and known have gone and left. Favourite shops have died and in its place, generic teeny-bopper retailers whip up garish, ridiculously sheer clothes with no lining at extortionist prices. The music they play is pretty stupid too. Cineleisure looks like a 13 year old's paradise. Takashimaya doesn't look shiny anymore. Tiong Bahru Plaza has new escalators. And then, to add insult to injury, I find friends giving up and pulling away because they think the distance is a deal-breaker; that coupled with my new marriage, I've turned into somebody new.

And then my entire identity as Singaporean, Chinese, Friend, Sister gets unceremoniously flushed down the automatic toilet by flippant comments such as, "Hello Australian. Wah. You can still speak Chinese ah. Why you look at me like dat? You Australian already, what!"

I'm 26. Less than 2 years ago, I left this island for another to further my education and I met and fell in love and got married to an Australian. Please understand if I'm not quite prepared to leave just yet.

# posted by Velle | 2:02 pm

2 Comments:

Wah, look who's talking! I chanced upon your OTHER web site. So which one do you want me to reply to? To the *puke* Cutie, or to the *puke* Learning Bride? HAha...blblblblblbl

Yeah, I do apologise for my sudden, albeit frequent, disappearances. Especially to your mama! Feel so guilty now. HAha. How is she? Well, you and I are the only children of our families, so better make sure you take good care of her! Don't be an unfilial brat like...like...well, me. Heh.

Hey, how can I contact you? I don't even have your LATEST e-mail now! I shall initiate contact with you then. My e-mail addy is *ahem* poppycock18@yahoo.co.uk. Before your thoughts run wild, "poppycock" means "nonsense".

Drop me a msg, complete with your contact details, oki? We will definitely be going back to Oz some day, possibly for our honeymoon or even settle down in the Land of Aussie Rules. Go Brisbane Lions!

All right, hot mama. Hope you don't start nagging soon. That's usually the first phase of a woman's transition into marriage. HAha!

By Anonymous, at 2:13 pm
Jerry, Jerry, Jerry... Ever charming and always full of - what's that word again? - POPPPYCOCK.

Darling, I don't nag... I just remind strenuously. :p

Seriously, Tony's been an absolute brick and I've hardly needed to do any nagging. If anything, I think Tony's kept me on my toes. And in a good way.

When are you guys getting married? Let me know if you need accommodation, if you're ever coming to Canberra. You and Tony will get along for sure, if you support the Lions. Be sure to wear Maroon!

By Velle, at 2:48 pm