Now that the craziness has passed, the in-laws have departed, and my guests have blogged more about the reception than I probably ever will, I find myself with a little time on my hands for a quick ketchup. Helps that the husband is mugging for an assignment.

So yes, it's Wednesday 9 March and we're both still in Singapore enjoying the humidity. My hair feels less like hay, and the husband hasn't gotten over how many shopping malls exist within such a koochiefied island. It's been a highly productive absence from blogging, so I am happy to uncover real nuggets here. I've also been bleating myself silly because each and everyone of you has, bless your heart, asked me at least one of the following questions in the last month and a half:

"So, have you found a job yet?"
The answer is No, but I find myself almost always defensive about this. No, I haven't been sitting on my flat tushie for the last quarter of the year blissfully lapping up tai-taidom and leeching on Tony. Having said that, I'm trying to learn that I shouldn't be too quick to shun housewifery. Tony's mother has, for the most part, been a homemaker. Poh Dee is a homemaker. Aunty Nancy is a homemaker. Gosh, Aunty MOY CHEE is a homemaker, and God Knows she's a powerball. There really shouldn't be any shame in staying home and waiting for the husband to bring in the bacon so the wife can cook it. However, I still have the occasional chip on the shoulder when confronted with the employment issue because NOT having found a job means I'm Not Maximising My Potential to every Harry and Jane out there. I almost feel sinful for not being gainfully employed, like I've been lolling about wantonly in the sun in sloth cooties for months while my poor husband works the daily grind. What did the good man do to deserve me, huh?

The reason I've not found a job yet is relatively simple - up till the week of my departure from Canberra to Singapore, I had not received my spousal visa from Immigration. I am very relieved to announce that as of the 15th of February, I am a certified Spouse of an Australian citizen, which just means they watch me cynically for another 2 years before they'll grudgingly grant me a PR. But that precious visa also grants me multiple travel, Medicare rights, and no restrictions on working.

So yes, the long and the short of it is that once I return to Australia on the 23rd of this month, I can start looking for a job so all of you can have a peace of mind, ok?

"Um, when is your wedding again?"
To be absolutely pedantic, our wedding was on the 18th of December last year. Our Wedding Reception was also on the 18th of December 2004. This special reception in Singapore however took place 4 days ago and was, really, just a good excuse to celebrate life and our new marriage, if anything. It wasn't a Wedding Ceremony, it wasn't even really a Wedding Reception. But Tony did get to wear his suit and look utterly dashing while I wore a chilli-red cheongsam with a slit up to there.

A few things have to be said about the reception, I think. First of all, for some of you who might be reading this and who had been in Singapore at the time but hadn’t received an invitation… my sincerest apologies. I didn’t mean to leave you out. If I could have accommodated everyone I’d ever known and had the pleasure of loving, believe me I might have tried. (Okay, I would have left some out for sure but thankfully they don’t read this blog.) The truth of the matter is, I couldn’t invite the church and all the youth. I couldn’t invite all my old friends from primary school right up to junior college and poly. The fact of the matter is that receptions – let alone 2 of them across continents – cost oodles of money. I simply don’t have that much money.

As it was with 200 people, Tony and I felt ourselves spread quite thin. We left the ballroom for family shots and the next thing we knew, other guests were streaming out to get photos taken with us and we didn’t go back in till the reception was close to an end. It wasn’t the best arrangement, but as with any event in Singapore, our timing wasn’t crash hot. The tea ceremony didn’t begin till a whole hour after the stipulated time when all our relatives decided then to swan in, and then everything went a bit silly after that. But Tony and I had a ball of a time anyway, and I’m just so glad my in-laws were really understanding and that my mum, aunt and uncle were all over the programme.

A few other highlights included FINALLY showing this video presentation that took me about 3 days to put together, and my uncle and I another 3 days of working with the venue so that the darn thing can finally be screened. I know video presentations are usually cheesy as heck, with the corny music and the usual feel-good photos of growing up and meeting and falling in love. But I felt strongly that we had a story to tell that was unique to US. And I did my best to make it as honest and as simple as possible. Besides, we had lots of wedding photos and scenic shots of Canberra to boot. How many can claim to include THAT in their presentation, huh? Huh?

So yes, we became One of Those Couples with a video presentation at their reception. I shall not apologise for it.

“How could you let your preacher SAY that?!”
This question was never directly asked, but I speculate that it – and other variations – might have lurked at the back of many minds.

When Uncle Henry asked me what I’d like him to mention in his speech, I took the liberty of asking him to tell everyone in that room exactly why it was so important to both Tony and I that we married Christians. Aside from my funeral, I see no other opportunity where I could gather such a mix of people in a single room and have them be a rapt audience for 5 minutes. And I had important things to say.

Too long have I been almost apologetic for being a Christian and having the beliefs I have. Too often have I practically apologised for belonging to a body of people put together by God, and for all their imperfections. Good grief. Does no one know that the body of Christ comprises of the sick, the lonely, the obnoxious, the difficult? What then is the point of grace and forgiveness? If only good people went to church, churches wouldn't exist.

I have looked hard at my faith and realised that I have been a coward. I’ve more often than not exchanged needful truths that stir, with the need to blend in and “play nice” according to anyone else. I speak of absolutes but have behaved as if everything is relative. I don’t even think some of my friends even know my stand on absolutism. I really don’t blame them. If anything, mixed signals and “nice religion” is what I’ve conveyed for the most part. But yet, I can loudly quote verses that speak of always being ready to give the reason for the hope that is within me, that tell that Jesus was a man full of “hard sayings”, and that real religion involves keeping oneself unspotted from the world.

The speech that Uncle Henry gave was difficult on the ears and the heart, and it was beautiful. I’m not talking about the bits where he praised my faith because I know myself better. I’m talking about the core of what marriage means to both Tony and I, and how some things really should be absolutes. For both of us, it means being cemented in a Christian marriage that has no emergency exits. God knows I’ve failed terribly at grasping this truth for a while, so while I still can, I’m repenting and starting over.

Don’t knock it if you ain’t tried it
Again, I do not apologise for what was said, or how it sounded. For some, it sounded extremely supercilious and arrogant, self-righteous and insensitive. And yet, so is writing off with flippant disdain a whole body of people whose only real crime is still being human while trying very hard to understand a higher purpose. You cannot condemn something you have little to no understanding of. That is not only bad rhetoric, but great ignorance. Do not mistake sloppy cynicism for healthy scepticism.

“When are you going to have kids?”
Ah, the circle of life. As Tony and I learn to draw that one, you can pick any of the following answers:

• After we’ve paid off the student loan and bought a house.
• Wah Lau. Can we just NOT answer that question?
• When we’re good and ready.
• Preferably, before Velle menopauses.
• Gee, I dunno. By the way, how much do you earn a year? And how much of that goes into buying new underwear?

“So, are you going to buy a house?”
We hope to, eventually. My standard answer to this has been that we’re waiting for me to get a job, and for property prices in Canberra to fall. Meanwhile, for faithful bloggers who’ve been in the know – I’m happy to report that Palmerston is wonderful. I have many pics, but already this entry has been very long. So far, we’ve had people over for apricot chicken, homemade Japanese food, and mahjong. Absolutely love playing hostess.

I am very happy.

# posted by Velle | 11:53 am

1 Comments:

• I still want those wedding photos, girl!!!!! And i'm SO SO happy ure happy!! All the very bestest!
  Oh and I really want to read that speech!!!! post it on yr blog!!!!!!!

  By  Priyanca, at 2:40 pm  

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