Ever since God named Adam, and then gave him charge to name every living creature - including his wife Eve - mankind has been impressed with the intrinsic link between the identity and the name.

I've grown up bearing a first name that is pretty special. I have to admit that I am rather jealous of its uniqueness, and I was terribly upset when my friend's mother called to tell me that she had mentioned my name to her friend who was having a baby - and the friend immediately decided to brand her baby girl with MY name. (Granted, General Motors came up with that one first, but STILL?!) I think I actually cried over that one - that was how upset I was. I felt robbed of my personality and identity, unreasonable as that sounds. It was wrong of me, but I was angry with the unoriginal friend of my friend's mother because taking my name had somehow diminished my uniqueness. And how DARE she make me less special.

Same feelings came up when an Ah-Lian shop was so enamoured with my name after an old boyfriend had engraved it on a bracelet, that they engraved it on another bracelet and displayed that on their shopfront. I was secretly glad when I heard they closed down.

The funny thing about names? It doesn't matter how many gorgeous people you've met who've borne a particular name, like Suzy for example. Once you've met an Awful Suzy, you tend to regard that name with some measure of Yuck. (Disclaimer: I personally know no one named Suzy.)

When Tony and I chance upon a name we deem quite dodgy, we'll rule it out as a name to inflict on any poor future kids we might have. We've built quite a list as a result; a what-NOT-to-name-our-kid list. This includes all the names of our old flames; our friend's old flames; our relatives not yet deceased; our friends; our friend's children; Shakespeare characters like Lysander and Romeo; Hollywood Celebrity children with names like Tallulah and Apple; memorable television characters like The Fonz; Canberra suburbs like Bruce, Gordon and Kaleen; work colleagues, schoolmates and general acquaintances that cause(d) us grief, pain and suffering; and names that just wouldn't go with our surname. Like Herbert.

This gets all the more complicated as I realise how much I want a unique name for my future offspring. I honestly love having a special name and I suspect it's actually a pride thing which means it's BAD, but I still would prefer a more unique name to a more common one. Tony, however, isn't saddled with such baggage and would be quite happy naming our daughter Jane if he actually liked the name.

But yes, this has been a good measure of how quickly I transfer the character of any person to his or her name. Case in point: I don't think I'd name my daughter Gail, not because I think my bridesmaid's a meanie or that the name generally blows... but I see naming my kid after her as some weird cloning exercise. Gail will always be Gail as I've always known her. I'd like to keep her unique in my heart.

Likewise, all my run-ins with most females whose names actually start with the letter V have been reeking with bad juju. The only other V names I haven't met are Valentine, Viola/Violet, and Vana. (I know a Vera. Vera is very nice. Victoria, Vanessa and Velma are normal people. The rest make me break out in cold sweat and want to make for the hills.)

So yes... if I want to keep a tally of how many people I ought to agape better, all I have to do is run through this list. Brilliant system, isn't it.

# posted by Velle | 10:13 am

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