Changed da house,
Changed da look.
BTW, my bathrobe's usually pink
and we don't have a fireplace.
Other than that,
it's pretty accurate...
Psst...click the words above to navigate.
Best viewed, unfortunately, in Internet Explorer.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
~ "I'm Married, and I've Got Proof" ~
I just got my Proof of Age card, which is very similar to the IC in Singapore, except they don't print your address, name in Chinese characters, or your bloodtype. Instead, they take up 10% of precious space to emblazon "Use Alcohol Responsibly" across the back. Actually, I think I look quite preeeetty. My chief reason for getting one of these babies, is so I don't have to lug my marriage cert around everytime I need to use my married name. I haven't quite decided what I'm gonna do about this whole name business in Australia. Considering they've got such a hefty Asian population, you would think they would've devised a system by now that accommodates the format of Asian names - namely, that the family name often comes BEFORE the first name. So far, my name in full has been mutilated by more Australian institutions than I can scarce keep track of. They have no idea whether to put my dialect name before my English name or not, which means the entire order often gets out of whack and my maiden name gets placed in the oddest of placest. There is no standardisation! Throw in my married name, and you have a cocktail of syllables that no one can arrange to satisfaction. I need some AUSTRALIAN documentation that can put it right... and now I HAVE IT! As to how useful it will be, remains to be seen.
Methinks it's really a card for 18 year olds, dying to get a load at Local Liquor.
As with any form of photo documentation, the photograph never really does justice to the individual. Today's instant photo was no different. I think I either look like I'm drunk... or like I'm endeavouring to seduce a frog. (Just so we're clear - I've been/done neither.)
Here we go:
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
~ Double-checking ~
Me:
When you die, and assuming I'm not dead yet, do you want to be buried or cremated?
Tony:
I thought we covered this... (gleefully) I want my ashes scattered across a baseball diamond!
So now I know.
Monday, March 28, 2005
~ When I'm 64 ~
I got Welcome Home Flowers from Tony! After months of teasing him about surprising me with a bouquet whenever we passed a florist or the flowers at Woolies, he's gone and actually done it. On Thursday afternoon, having crashed out on our bed after unpacking a heap of stuff, I was delightfully awoken by a charming man in a blue shirt and grey pants, armed with a bunch of Pink Carnations. The best kind of welcome there is.
I should run off to Singapore more often. (Blatant protests from man in background.)
We took a 2 hour drive to Cowra yesterday to worship with the church there. This was something we had planned to do the whole of last year and couldn't; seeing this is the Easter weekend, we thought it was a good time to make the trip and take Monday off to recover. The congregation in Cowra is small and quiet, its membership comprising primarily of pensioners so our presence yesterday did help broaden the demographic by quite a bit.
After worship, we had bible study and lunch at Helen and Keith's house. I dare say that theirs was one of the biggest houses I've ever had the pleasure of visiting. From what I understand, they'd sold off their farm and bought a huge piece of real estate wherein they built this astoundingly huge home for their retirement. We calculated that the floorspace of their living room alone was as big as our current pad's. We have no idea how they plan to keep the house clean seeing how they're no longer spring chickens and hired help is always expensive. But that's besides the point.
Tony and I have barely started on the road to ever after, so it seems rather mindboggling to envision a happy retirement for ourselves like this one. We suspect that our dream retirement resembles that of Bob and Lynne's Manly pad more closely; somehow, being stranded in a gorgeous big-ass house in the middle of nowhere sounds less romantic and more like hard work.
Being in the company of Christian pensioners also drove home some sobering and heartwarming truths about marriage; they really are meant to last a lifetime. At one point, I was sitting at the dining table with Daphne and John on my left, and Diane and Peter on my right... and I just marvelled at their long-term romances. It's one thing to be surrounded by newlyweds still rosy from honeymoon blissage. It's another thing altogether to sit at the feet of 30,40 year old marriages and witness the affection of a man, clearly still enamoured with his wife as he sits at her feet and holds her ankle. Or hear a husband praise his wife's fine business acumen. Or watch from the corner of your eye as a wife quietly sits on her husband's lap as he gently holds her, as if still a little girl.
So much to learn! Methinks our trip to Cowra encouraged us more than our presence did them.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
~ This is Palmerston ~
After much fiddling between computers, and carrying these photos across the straits and what-have-you so I can show family what kind of house Tony and I are putting up with for now, I bring to you a selection of photographs of The New Pad.
Friday, March 18, 2005
~ One big wheeeeze... ~
Still in Singapore. Still rather mopey about leaving Singapore. Trying hard to enjoy friends and family as much as possible and am maxing out my lunches, dinners, and suppers catching up with everyone.
But I'm still mopey. I'm totally disinterested in packing my suitcase (don't worry, honey... I've started at least), and rifling through old drawers and bookcases only stir up memories and lotsa dust, which means that on top of feeling very sorry for myself, I sneeze like a machine gun in the eager hands of a psychopath.
Sorry darlings... I know I'm not usually this deflated online, but stuff's gotten to me this week. Not even buying pale pink stilettos with a cute bow on top is knocking me out of this lethargy.
Plegh.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
~ Death and the Dearly Departing ~
It's been a while since I've picked up a copy of the Straits Times, for obvious reasons. It's been even longer since I've flipped through the obituaries.
I chanced upon one of last week's copies this morning and noticed that the section's had a face lift. It now looks a lot spiffier and it endeavours, I think, to celebrate the individual a little better. Apparently you can now choose wallpaper as backdrop to the sombre announcement ("Delightful Daisies" for the ladies, "Marvelous Marbling" for the men). That actually does make a good difference without making the obituary look like an advert.
This particular copy had an obituary of a lady, aged 58. She left behind 4 children and 8 grandchildren. EIGHT grandchildren. At 58. I calculate that the deceased had started having her children as young as my mother did but even then, her children would have had to all marry pretty early to start having that many children before she turned 60. It makes me wonder what the unspoken credo of the family is as far as child-rearing is concerned. Did the children look at their mother and think, "I should be like her. I should marry young, have my children young, so I can enjoy them to my fullest"? Because hey, when I was 16, I had planned to marry by 24 and have my first child at 26. I had figured it wasn't as young as my mother had been at 20 and 21.5 respectively, and I would still be young enough to be a grandmother by the time I was 50-55.
But then I turned 23, looked at my life then, and hastily moved the numbers around. Getting married and planning a family is frightfully exciting and daunting work.
But back to the obituaries. 58 is still young. I wonder if she was prepared to leave when she did.
When Tony was still in Singapore, we braved the first day of the IT show. We had 2 goals: a 512mb memory card and an internal DVD burner. It was important to us especially that the latter item came with an international warranty, because both of us were kinda nervy about spending money, lugging stuff back to Canberra and discovering OF COURSE that they wouldn't work.
We got a couple of brochures, brought them home. Tony started his research on the web the very next morning. And much to my growing chagrin, his conclusion after a time was that the price difference of IT goods in Australia and Singapore was almost negligible as far as DVD burners were concerned. It was probably more prudent for us to buy one in Australia than in Singapore, given that we would also get a warranty in Australia.
For the next half hour, I found myself almost banging stuff around as I shrivelled into major sulks. Gosh, I was petulant. At one point, Tony eyeballed me and asked me in all earnestness if he had done anything wrong and the very rational part of my wee brain managed to kick in in time for me to concede that he hadn't. And yet I was deeply upset. It was only until I started giving words to the growing emotional turmoil alone in the bedroom with my mother, that everything seemingly unreasonable and childish was articulated.
I wanted Singapore to be The Destination for great IT bargains, not Australia, Land of Crazy Taxes and Protectionistic Policies That Hurt Consumers. I wanted Tony to see that Singapore was the only place where you could enjoy great shopping, get the best buys, have the greatest variety of goodies stacked in your favour. (Hong Kong, in this regard, does NOT exist in my argument.) I wanted Tony to know and admit that I belong to a GREAT city, a GREAT country and that I was giving up all these luxuries for him. I wanted him to know how much I was going to miss living in Singapore with all its vitality and variety and I'll be damned if Australia can offer me better shopping because NOTHING beats MY country, ok?
I couldn't begin to articulate how much it hurts to know I'm leaving Singapore permanently, that I am and will continue to be nothing more than a Regular Visitor. As it is, the land has changed so much since I was last here. For the past 2 weeks, I have had to face constant reminders that people and things in Singapore have moved on without me. New buildings have been erected. New MRT lines and with it, new complicated networks of subways, flyovers and underpasses have been built and are in use. Nicoll Highway has come down and gone up. Hawker food I've loved and known have gone and left. Favourite shops have died and in its place, generic teeny-bopper retailers whip up garish, ridiculously sheer clothes with no lining at extortionist prices. The music they play is pretty stupid too. Cineleisure looks like a 13 year old's paradise. Takashimaya doesn't look shiny anymore. Tiong Bahru Plaza has new escalators. And then, to add insult to injury, I find friends giving up and pulling away because they think the distance is a deal-breaker; that coupled with my new marriage, I've turned into somebody new.
And then my entire identity as Singaporean, Chinese, Friend, Sister gets unceremoniously flushed down the automatic toilet by flippant comments such as, "Hello Australian. Wah. You can still speak Chinese ah. Why you look at me like dat? You Australian already, what!"
I'm 26. Less than 2 years ago, I left this island for another to further my education and I met and fell in love and got married to an Australian. Please understand if I'm not quite prepared to leave just yet.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
~ Space Filler ~
Now that the craziness has passed, the in-laws have departed, and my guests have blogged more about the reception than I probably ever will, I find myself with a little time on my hands for a quick ketchup. Helps that the husband is mugging for an assignment. “So, are you going to buy a house?”
So yes, it's Wednesday 9 March and we're both still in Singapore enjoying the humidity. My hair feels less like hay, and the husband hasn't gotten over how many shopping malls exist within such a koochiefied island. It's been a highly productive absence from blogging, so I am happy to uncover real nuggets here. I've also been bleating myself silly because each and everyone of you has, bless your heart, asked me at least one of the following questions in the last month and a half:
"So, have you found a job yet?"
The answer is No, but I find myself almost always defensive about this. No, I haven't been sitting on my flat tushie for the last quarter of the year blissfully lapping up tai-taidom and leeching on Tony. Having said that, I'm trying to learn that I shouldn't be too quick to shun housewifery. Tony's mother has, for the most part, been a homemaker. Poh Dee is a homemaker. Aunty Nancy is a homemaker. Gosh, Aunty MOY CHEE is a homemaker, and God Knows she's a powerball. There really shouldn't be any shame in staying home and waiting for the husband to bring in the bacon so the wife can cook it. However, I still have the occasional chip on the shoulder when confronted with the employment issue because NOT having found a job means I'm Not Maximising My Potential to every Harry and Jane out there. I almost feel sinful for not being gainfully employed, like I've been lolling about wantonly in the sun in sloth cooties for months while my poor husband works the daily grind. What did the good man do to deserve me, huh?
The reason I've not found a job yet is relatively simple - up till the week of my departure from Canberra to Singapore, I had not received my spousal visa from Immigration. I am very relieved to announce that as of the 15th of February, I am a certified Spouse of an Australian citizen, which just means they watch me cynically for another 2 years before they'll grudgingly grant me a PR. But that precious visa also grants me multiple travel, Medicare rights, and no restrictions on working.
So yes, the long and the short of it is that once I return to Australia on the 23rd of this month, I can start looking for a job so all of you can have a peace of mind, ok?
"Um, when is your wedding again?"
To be absolutely pedantic, our wedding was on the 18th of December last year. Our Wedding Reception was also on the 18th of December 2004. This special reception in Singapore however took place 4 days ago and was, really, just a good excuse to celebrate life and our new marriage, if anything. It wasn't a Wedding Ceremony, it wasn't even really a Wedding Reception. But Tony did get to wear his suit and look utterly dashing while I wore a chilli-red cheongsam with a slit up to there.
A few things have to be said about the reception, I think. First of all, for some of you who might be reading this and who had been in Singapore at the time but hadn’t received an invitation… my sincerest apologies. I didn’t mean to leave you out. If I could have accommodated everyone I’d ever known and had the pleasure of loving, believe me I might have tried. (Okay, I would have left some out for sure but thankfully they don’t read this blog.) The truth of the matter is, I couldn’t invite the church and all the youth. I couldn’t invite all my old friends from primary school right up to junior college and poly. The fact of the matter is that receptions – let alone 2 of them across continents – cost oodles of money. I simply don’t have that much money.
As it was with 200 people, Tony and I felt ourselves spread quite thin. We left the ballroom for family shots and the next thing we knew, other guests were streaming out to get photos taken with us and we didn’t go back in till the reception was close to an end. It wasn’t the best arrangement, but as with any event in Singapore, our timing wasn’t crash hot. The tea ceremony didn’t begin till a whole hour after the stipulated time when all our relatives decided then to swan in, and then everything went a bit silly after that. But Tony and I had a ball of a time anyway, and I’m just so glad my in-laws were really understanding and that my mum, aunt and uncle were all over the programme.
A few other highlights included FINALLY showing this video presentation that took me about 3 days to put together, and my uncle and I another 3 days of working with the venue so that the darn thing can finally be screened. I know video presentations are usually cheesy as heck, with the corny music and the usual feel-good photos of growing up and meeting and falling in love. But I felt strongly that we had a story to tell that was unique to US. And I did my best to make it as honest and as simple as possible. Besides, we had lots of wedding photos and scenic shots of Canberra to boot. How many can claim to include THAT in their presentation, huh? Huh?
So yes, we became One of Those Couples with a video presentation at their reception. I shall not apologise for it.
“How could you let your preacher SAY that?!”
This question was never directly asked, but I speculate that it – and other variations – might have lurked at the back of many minds.
When Uncle Henry asked me what I’d like him to mention in his speech, I took the liberty of asking him to tell everyone in that room exactly why it was so important to both Tony and I that we married Christians. Aside from my funeral, I see no other opportunity where I could gather such a mix of people in a single room and have them be a rapt audience for 5 minutes. And I had important things to say.
Too long have I been almost apologetic for being a Christian and having the beliefs I have. Too often have I practically apologised for belonging to a body of people put together by God, and for all their imperfections. Good grief. Does no one know that the body of Christ comprises of the sick, the lonely, the obnoxious, the difficult? What then is the point of grace and forgiveness? If only good people went to church, churches wouldn't exist.
I have looked hard at my faith and realised that I have been a coward. I’ve more often than not exchanged needful truths that stir, with the need to blend in and “play nice” according to anyone else. I speak of absolutes but have behaved as if everything is relative. I don’t even think some of my friends even know my stand on absolutism. I really don’t blame them. If anything, mixed signals and “nice religion” is what I’ve conveyed for the most part. But yet, I can loudly quote verses that speak of always being ready to give the reason for the hope that is within me, that tell that Jesus was a man full of “hard sayings”, and that real religion involves keeping oneself unspotted from the world.
The speech that Uncle Henry gave was difficult on the ears and the heart, and it was beautiful. I’m not talking about the bits where he praised my faith because I know myself better. I’m talking about the core of what marriage means to both Tony and I, and how some things really should be absolutes. For both of us, it means being cemented in a Christian marriage that has no emergency exits. God knows I’ve failed terribly at grasping this truth for a while, so while I still can, I’m repenting and starting over.
Don’t knock it if you ain’t tried it
Again, I do not apologise for what was said, or how it sounded. For some, it sounded extremely supercilious and arrogant, self-righteous and insensitive. And yet, so is writing off with flippant disdain a whole body of people whose only real crime is still being human while trying very hard to understand a higher purpose. You cannot condemn something you have little to no understanding of. That is not only bad rhetoric, but great ignorance. Do not mistake sloppy cynicism for healthy scepticism.
“When are you going to have kids?”
Ah, the circle of life. As Tony and I learn to draw that one, you can pick any of the following answers:
We hope to, eventually. My standard answer to this has been that we’re waiting for me to get a job, and for property prices in Canberra to fall. Meanwhile, for faithful bloggers who’ve been in the know – I’m happy to report that Palmerston is wonderful. I have many pics, but already this entry has been very long. So far, we’ve had people over for apricot chicken, homemade Japanese food, and mahjong. Absolutely love playing hostess.
I am very happy.
